welcome to my online diary where im going to journal about my thoughts
honestly, its going to be very simple.
im not good at coding at all, lol, but i want to become good
today at school, my friends kept talking over me and it made me really upset.
they werent listening to a single thing i was saying until cerys told them to listen and said that i was speaking. it made me feel a little bit better but i still felt a bit ignored. im also bummed out about my math test results from yesterday 28 out of 40. i know it isnt too bad, i still passed but broo i couldve done heaps better!!! we also had an english assessment, and it sucked. i only got to the middle of the third question, which might be average since its pretty tricky, but idk.. on thursday, we will continue it which i am dreading, i dont want to do it, i dont wanna go to school on thursday or friday. i hate this schooool. about the math test, anyone who passed got a message sent to their parent about how excellent it is or something, so basically everyone in the class. my grandma [the person taking care of me at the moment] was super proud and happy, and i felt happy too because she doesnt usually care about much else. i told her that everyone got one, and she faltered a bit but was still happy, which is ok i guess but yeah. i love cerys, shes ALWAYS so nice to me. while the others are most of the time nice but not ALL of the time like cerys is. but she says 'i miss my mum' a lot, which i understand, but its really annoying lol. nothing much else happened today. its multi culture day tommorow, and im excited to see some of my friends in their clothes.
today was multi culture day, where people dress as their cultures. i didnt dress up because i dont really know what british men wear tradionally. a suit and tie? idk. plus everyones wearing fancy stuff and ill just feel like a colonizer. today kind of sucked, because last period [science] Mr. changed the seating plan again. our class is split up into two halves, andim on the right side. mr. likes to joke around a lot but he's not very funny. he said, 'last table to talk changes seating plan!' and some kid on my side spoke and we had to actually change seats..bruhhhh. i felt physically sick because i was afraid id be sat next to people i dont talk to, and i really wanted to be seated next to cerys and brix. brix was moved 3rd to last, and then cerys and i got moved at the same time. originally, i sat three rows to the back, and now im second to the front. one of my friends was supposed to be in between cerys and i, but she moved over because she didnt want to be in the middle, so cerys was in the middle instead. brix was behind me and theres no one i front of me. i hate mr, sometimes he can be really funny, but then sometimes he unintentionally a prick like this time. back to the multi culture day, we had to watch an assembly, but it was second period, which is sports, and honestly i really like sports, and last week we had an assembly the same day AND period... but this assembly was somewhat enjoyable. we got to watch some students perform dances in their cultural outfits and stuff. i wouldve rathered sports though, because where i sat was super cramped and i hurt my neck looking to the side for too long..
today was not any better than yesterday bruh. my favourite teacher is leaving next week. im so upset. this week has just been shitty. sure ive been laughing heaps, to the point of almost crying, but thats only with cerys. seriously. honestly, not much happened today at all. my grandmother got me a new waterbottle though because ive been needing one. the teacher thats leaving, shes the math teacher. bro, she actually helped me so much. i got kinda sad when she annouced her leaving. also during math, cerys and brix thought it would be funny to move away from me as a joke. it was quick and they probably had good intentions, but it pissed me off because it wasnt funny. at lunch, while in the line at the canteen, the bell rang before i could get any food, AND next period was an assessment [the english one from tuesday]. when i got home, i just played roblox by myself. i have nothing else to do. no homework, and my cerys and brix barely play with me anymore.i hate this school lol. i hate it so much. i honestly wish i could just ditch everyone and move to a new one. but im not gonna. recently, ive been getting into ww2, and learning about the axis powers and allied powers. its really interesting, and everyday i wonder if Hitler actually wanted to take over the world, or if he had an actual reason for all of this. im also curious how the gas chambers work and im gonna research it tomorrow during digital technology, because ive actually finished all my projects in digi tech so i have free time yay. it was a really easy project, and i dont understand how people were struggling with it lmao.
today i didnt go to school because something happened last night. it was so scary. i just randomly started shaking and it felt like my skin was crawling. ive had a problem with self harm for a while now, and im trying to recover. im 25 days sober and iget urges a lot but that one was the worst one. i might have a nap to pass the time, watch a movie or play roblox. todays entry is really really short because nothing happened.. since i didnt go to school. nothing interesting happens at home